Yes, I’m still with boyfee, he isn’t as self centered as he was before. But then again maybe I didn’t understand him then. Hopefully, he will be my future and whatever we have right now will stay as it is. Besides, after 5 years my family has met him and so far, he’s been doing a great job at dodging them. :0)

Plans on getting married? Well anyone in a 5-year relationship ought to have discussed about that and yes, we did. We’ve been talking about it though his confidence that I will say “yes” is plain frustrating and funny at the same time. He says we are getting married in 2013 and his family knows about it already. As for me,  I believe they are all just plans that may change in a flick of a finger.

My social circle has been so much smaller because I realized how tiring it is to hang on into a bus that’s going nowhere… fast. Yes I do miss them, I miss that they didn’t complicate things, I miss that they were easy to handle, I miss that they had issues but they took the proper route to fix them and I miss that they love the group enough not to do things that will ruin it. I doubt that they still read this but I do wish that whatever they exchanged with what we had is worth it. That they are happy now.

I’ve been reuniting with some old friends though and it really is great going down the memory lane with them. it was fun but it made me remember why they are “old” friends and why I needed to “reunite” with them. Some things changed now that we have grown up but there are things that growing up will not change.

25 is a transition stage. This is when most of my batchmates start “making babies.” Most of my batchmates who had their first babies from 23 below obviously didn’t have the intentions of making one during that time. They’re just “accidents.” A lot of them are getting settled with their new families and I guess I want the same thing right now.

I can see the change in my family. In spite of the fact that we all live different lives now, we are still together. We are still living in the same house. We still grace the dining table together at least twice a week and in a few months my first niece will be joining us hopefully she will repair any damaged goods between everyone. ..

O and before ending this, I’m proud to say that I have quit smoking for over a year now. I can confidently say to my mom that “No, I wasn’t smoking”

So what has happened?

As I said, last year wasn’t exactly everyone’s year. Everyone’s plans just blew all over their face and it was a mess they just wanted to wipe out hoping that things will be better. For some reason Philippines seem to be in a better state this year. No matter what they say about the new president, he is still a far better bet than that elf-bitch. The tragedies that happened this year is no longer tragic – their just plain embarrassment (bar exam bombing, unsolved Visconde case, Quirino shootout, Mariel Rodriguez- Robin Padilla “marriage,” Bianca Gonzales’ outfit in SNN…) So yes, we are still happy. We are still fine. We just need to get used to the fact that Filipinos really love drama and a lot of us think that we are the center of the universe.

Anyway, what drove me to write again is the fact that a new year came in and I have to motivate myself in doing something different this year, and for me to be able to feel motivated I have to post it here like it’s some kind of a written contract.

2009 have been shitty, everyone says so. Like totally everyone I know. And if we were to make a collage of the events of 2009, I think its going to be a ball of an even bigger shit. Important people died, astounding calamities occurred, evil people became victorious and Philippines is still in deepfried shit. Notice how many times I’ve said shit for the past few paragraphs. Everyone says they want a change this year and hopefully people would get the change that they want -whether it’s personal, financial, spiritaul or whatever… I’m not expecting much with political change but I’m sure it’s bound to be entertaining to watch news this year.

I on the other hand is not really aiming to change, as I’ve said I just want things to be different than how they were 2009. I want to feel better about myself this time around, I really really need to travel and I miss the old people in my life.

Just like everyone else who gained Holiday weight, I vow to lose them – them including vacation weight, birthday weight, emotional – eating induced weight and damay-damay sa kainan weight… Yeah I know that’s a lot of weight… It does not matter how much I lose but I swear to God I’m going to lose weight or at least I’ll die trying. That’s my answer to the “I want to feel better about myself” part.

As for travel, it looks like my travel companions have abandoned ship so it’s time I plan my next few voyages on my own. Good thing the BF had been planning to go the same direction as me — BKK. I’ve always wanted to go there especially during my hippie days. Which sort of explains my addiction to cows. (well long story). BF had been planning to go to Bangkok since last year because of this small business he wanted to strart. And since I have completely convinced myself to do it, it looks like we are giving the plan a go signal come first week of March. Kind of exciting since I’ve never been out of the country with the BF. Hopefully, by the next few months, the Angels will finally agree to go to Cam Sur. And by agree, it involves actually saving up for the trip and booking the tickets and doing advanced works and filing VLs or whatever else they need to do. The past few months, we’ve all talked about get togethers and out of towns but we never really got anywhere. Not even for a bottle of beer or two in a videoke joint. I wish we aren’t tired of each other yet, I know I’m not.

As for missing old people. I’ve been looking at photos from the old Multiply circa and I’ve seen a lot of faces and names that I miss. I saw a hell lot of happy moments and somehow I can’t seem to understand why we can’t redo those things all over. I heard about the phrase they call “growing up and moving on” but does moving always have to involve leaving people behind? I’m moving on to 2010 and leaving behind 2009, and I hate 2009 and I’m raising my middle finger at it. Does it have to be the same way with the old people? Wherever they are right now, I want them to know that they are all very important to me and I wish they are all safe and happy and prosperous. I’ll be seeing you all soon.

After I graduated, I have a lot of friends who took up law and swore that Atty. Lopez is a monster scarier than the boogie man. This man can say things that can break stone into dust. He would throw class cards out of the window whenever one of the students would do something he doesn’t like and students would start running out of the classroom hoping they can still find the class cards he threw out. There were tons of other horrid stories flying around the AB building and even on other law schools about the experiences that they’ve had with one of the best professors that I’ve met in my entire life.

There’s no doubt, everything I said earlier about him is true and anyone who have encountered him in their classes would agree. But for me, he was one person I will never forget for the rest of my life not only because of his teaching techniques but also because of this poem that he shared with the class one rainy day…

Mangyari lamang ay tumayo ang mga nagmamahal
Nang makita ng lahat ang mukha ng pag-ibig
Ipamalas ang tamis ng malalim na pagkakaunawaan
Sa mga malabo ang paningin.

Mangyari lamang na tumayo rin ang mga nagmahal at nasawi
Nang makita ng lahat ang mga sugat ng isang bayani
Ipadama ang pait ng kabiguan
Habang ipinagbubunyi ang walang katulad
Na kagitingan ng isang nagtaya.

Mangyari lamang ay tumayo ang mga nangangambang magmahal
Nang makita ng lahat ang kilos ng isang bata
Ipamalas ang katapatan ng damdamin na pilit ikinukubli
Ng pusong lumaki sa mga engkanto’t diwata.

Mangyari lamang na tumayo ang nagmahal, minahal at iniwan
Ngunit handa pa ring magmahal
Nang makita ng lahat ang yaman ng karanasan
Ipamalas ang katotohanang nasaksihan
Nang maging makahulugan ang mga paghahagulhol sa dilim.

At sa mga nanatiling nakaupo
Mangyari lamang ay dahan-dahang tumalilis
Palabas sa nakangangang pinto
Umuwi na kayo!
At sumbatan ang mga magulang
Na nagpalaki ng isang halimaw.

At sa lahat ng mga nakaiwang nakatayo
Mangyari lamang na hagkan ang isa’t isa
At yakapin ang mga sugatan
Mabuhay tayong lahat
Na nagsisikap makabalik sa ating pinagmulan
Manatiling masaya at higit sa lahat
Magpatuloy sa pagmamahal.

— Mangyari Lamang, ni Rico Abelardo

Thank you Atty. Lopez for teaching us about the separation of powers, libel, just compensation plus a thing or two

about real love…

Grabbing a few bottles of beer with his students just after grilling them in a grueling recitation..

The week has passed and so did 2 or was it three typhoons? And damn, a lot has happened… One can’t help but feel bliss seeing all the charity and heroism reported on TV and on the internet. I’m proud of this generation because almost everyone was doing their part in helping out. Everyone made sure they had a purpose. Apparently while majority had the role of the goody, there were antagonists who hid behind the guise of concerned individuals who did some sick utterly sick things it disgusts even me, me who threw in a straight face at “three girls one cup” (well ok that’s pretty sick) but I’m sure you get the gist..

This morning, I saw a kumpare who reads tabloids everyday and according to him there was this blind item saying that a particular Filipina superstar had a benefit concert in Las Vegas so she can gather donations for the Ondoy victims. Later that evening, guess what… she was spotted burning cash in a Casino! Ok, so she is in the sin city, let’s give her credit for that. While my kumpare is not exactly a reliable person source, I still felt disgusted when I heard the rumor. It was just so… wrong.

Note: Just to give you an idea about my source, he is the type who always have to take photos of friends around a birthday cake complete with lighted candles with his phone camera to serve as evidence that he really did go to a birthday party just as he promised his wife. That’s how little my kumare trusts him and believe me she had every reasons to. Since the item has not really been proven yet, and add to it the fact that he left three of his kids to their own respective mothers (there were three of them one for each child), I’ll add my kumpare to today’s list of douches. But at least, he has the decency to admit that he is an asshole and the three kids that he left are all living a good life now… He is presently living with his wife and four kids (all from his present wife, his only boy being my favorite god son)

Back to the rumored superstar, if there is one thing that I’m sure of about her, it’s the fact na WALANG HIMALA, my brother is not a pig, hindi baboyramo ang kapatid ko, ako lang! I wish I’m wrong.

Douche number two is the Philippines’ number one douche. Since my brother served as one of her staffs for a couple of years, I have always been rational and understanding when it comes to the activities of her majesty excellency. She is after all, one of the most hardworking presidents in the history. But seeing the state of the nation now, and seeing how many people there are who practically kneel down in inches-thick mud just to beg for something to eat, it dawned unto me how many families would have had a decent meal to eat the next couple of weeks if only she didn’t travel as much as she did and she didn’t spend all the emergency funds for mundane things. It honestly pained me to see how many people there are, practically killing each other for a plastic bag of groceries. I wish one of these days, all the corrupt officials would experience the same thing, just so they’ll know how it feels to be weasled out of their hard earned cash, then we’d hear them all say I..am… sorreee complete with family pictures in the background.

A new super typhoon is slowly rolling towards the metro and I’m not particularly sure if anyone at all is ready for it… I just had brunch with the whole family because ironically with the super typhoon parma/pepeng arriving, the mega typhoon Patrick is back from his two- weeks vacation in La Union with Cheese.

It was a very emotional week for a lot of people. It is such a relief that my loved ones are all safe. And i feel more than just sorry for the others. We’ve all seen it- people losing properties, source of income, pride, sanity and love ones. I particularly choked when I saw this man sobbing while digging up wet mud. He said he was looking for his children… Plus many such stories. It was heartbreaking. So heart breaking that I shamelessly talked to my clients and past clients from the US hoping I can solicit some funds from them. It was great to know that I was employed by kind hearted people. I heart you, sirs may God bless you..

===

While Ondoy was busy destroying Manila, I was in a small gig in Nueva Ecija… It was the BFs brilliant plan of a roadtrip he even employed the famous Mang Bobot to drive us there. We we’re planning to do a balikan thing, in spite of the storm that we didn’t know would cause such damage. Nice time to plan a road trip huh? After receiving a message that BF’s house have started to flood, we we’re a bit alarmed. Their place in Manila is elevated so indeed it was surprising. It has never flooded inside.. like EVER.. Then it dawned on us… The dogs!!!! His house elf told us they were crying, afraid of the water that is starting to flood the entire place. Apparently when they’ve gotten used to it, the guys back home started to hear *splash* splash*splash.* The gagong dogs finally got used to the flood and started diving (yes diving) and swimming around the house. Enjoying it like they’re on a damned beach resort.

So back  to our misadventures… The BF and I busied ourselves by reading ghost stories – that’s one of our favorite pass times eons ago. But still we felt concern on what was happening. We still didn’t know the gravity of the situation till the time we traveled back. It was 6 pm and it was starting to get dark… and it seemed well… too fucking dark. We haven’t even reached Cabiao (i don’t know how to spell that) yet there was already a traffic jam. Apparently there was a bus stuck in the middle of the road because of a tree or something. So we had to find another way out. Honestly, it was like twilight zone driving down dark narrow roads, ending up cruising along a dark cemetery and chains of houses that seemed to have been abandoned by its owners. There was no flicker of light and not a person in sight. It was a fucking ghost town… I covered my eyes feeling the urge to pee right then and there. It was a damned scene in Shake Rattle and Roll and I never was that adventurous to wish I’d have an experience like that.

We tried to stick to the main road but it was impossible because a lot of trees have fallen off blocking the road. What normally takes us less than an hour became a three-hour trip. We just discussed that once we reach NLEX everything will be okay.. We don’t have to worry about trees falling on us or something like that, We can empty our bladder, get some decent food and rest for a while. As it turned out, NLEX is impassable… YES THERE WAS FLOOD IN FUCKING NLEX.

We had to detour to Marilao, I checked on Kuya Bobot who seemed to be very tired because he seemed tp be driving way faster than he usually do… We seek refuge in Bulacan, little did we know then that it was also one of the most affected areas. We were lucky to find an inn where all four of us checked in for the night. When we opened the television, that’s when we realized how bad things were… A celebrity is stuck on top of her roof with small kids and rescuers didn’t pay any attention to her. It was THAT bad… What we we’re seeing on TV was a disaster, and an even bigger disaster was the food we were wolfing down. It was the “specialty” of the inn and by god I can swear its the left-overs of other customers mixed together. To give you a clue the dish had chicken, kikiam, squidballs, hotdog, half a slice of pork chop, various veggies and god-knows-what else… If you can’t see the photo now it means i’m too lazy to upload it. Anyway, we ate it hungrily, there are people who haven’t eaten anything since before lunch so why complain now?

We went home the next morning seeing the damage that the storm left. There was a hell-lot-of-trash the MMDA is going to have a field day cleaning it all up. When we finally reached our destination what awaited us was more flood. I told kuya Bobot “Kuya Bot andito na tayo kaso hindi siya kasing ganda ng potipot” Apparently that was the least of his concerns, it turned out that his family lives in Pasig – another place that got the worst blow…I folded my pants and braced myself, it was back in college since I last walked on a flooded street. Memories came flooding back seeing dead roaches and whatnot floating in the flood… I sort of wanted to cry… But I remembered what I saw on TV the previous night, I wanted to bitch slap myself 10 times for feeling that way.

Then BF told me, “grabe tong road trip na to no. Malamang ibobolog mo to..” Well I did, days after… It hasn’t quite settled into me yet.. But the darkness outside – the upcoming storm, it woke me up to the reality that the disaster is just beginning… God help us all…

product of pap's genes mixed with mine

Shet natawa ako.. ampogi ng anak ko.

It’s one of the best vacations I’ve had in years because it was all about relaxation, getting drunk/high and I don’t have to put up with the shit of travel companions who put in extra weight to your load. I was happy that I don’t have to pretend to like the people I was with. The lesson I learned in this trip is simple – I don’t have to try too hard…

The past vacations (including this one actually), I tried really hard to talk people into coming with us and it kinda sicken me that I tried too hard to force them to come. You see, I hate the feeling of getting left behind especially when you are supposedly in a group. So I try to avoid that now with my friends. I see to it that as much as possible I try to make each of them feel important in the group. But now, I guess I’m tired of that. Let them shamelessly crawl back ones their so-called friends leave them to die in a manhole.

I told kaps na I sooo want to blog about them, even if it is a complete waste of time but I guess blogging is the official language nowadays. And for some weird reason, a lot of people don’t seem to understand blatant words anymore but would fuss over the good or the bad things that you write about them in your personal blog.

If by any chance, my friends are reading this blog, I just want to tell you that you are all very important to me and you are all in my heart. If you feel that an extra few thousand is not worth spending for friends who willingly welcome you with open arms each time you need help and as you say “is a waste of money”, well I’m sorry because there’s something obviously wrong with you and maybe you better rethink things.  I can understand lame excuses but selfish ones aggravate me. If its true that birds of the same feather flock together, then I’m glad that you don’t stick around with us because if that’s the kind of bird you are, I’m certainly happy I’m not like you.  Well I might seem like narrow-minded person who can’t understand others and I may sound petty well I guess thats because I’m done being the rational one.

Just in case my time stamp fucks up, the date today is 17th and we have a trip to puerto on saturday, 19th of this month.

(12:24:22 AM) rafael rivera the child star: rhae, gil puyat station yung bus terminal tama?
(12:24:30 AM) rhae: uu.. .
(12:24:34 AM) rafael rivera the child star: oks
(12:24:38 AM) rhae: aalis ka na?
(12:24:53 AM) rafael rivera the child star: mamaya,
(12:25:01 AM) rafael rivera the child star: uuwi pko
(12:25:02 AM) rhae: siguro kita na lang tayo sa may ano..
(12:25:12 AM) rhae: sa may jollibee.
(12:25:17 AM) rafael rivera the child star: ok
(12:25:26 AM) rhae: uy bukas pa yun ah
(12:25:27 AM) rhae: ahahahah
(12:25:34 AM) rhae: thursday pa lang ngayon
(12:25:51 AM) rafael rivera the child star: friday na kaya
(12:26:01 AM) rhae: uu friday ng madaling araw..
(12:26:21 AM) rafael rivera the child star: teka

After about 5 minutes

(12:26:24 AM) rafael rivera: naguluhan ako
(12:26:33 AM) rhae: tado
(12:26:46 AM) rhae martin: friday pa lang ng madaling araw ngayon
(12:26:55 AM) rhae: ang alis natin sat. ng umaga
(12:27:46 AM) rafael rafael rivera the child star: akala ko friday to sunday tayo tapos monday ng umaga yung uwi
(12:28:30 AM) rhae: dude.. sat- monday.. may pasok pa tayo ng sat morning
(12:28:57 AM) rhae: kaya nga sept 19-21.
(12:29:13 AM) rhae: sa iniisip mo 3 nights tayo dun..
(12:29:58 AM) rafael rivera the child star: basta sa sat na lang
(12:30:02 AM) rafael rivera the child star: tanga ko naman
(12:30:06 AM) rafael rivera the child star: sensya na
(12:30:10 AM) rafael rivera the child star: basag na ako sa trabaho

It was funny, I can sort of swear he thought it was Saturday already

After a few minutes, Kaps texted:

“Galera bukas, right?”
“Galera bukas, right?”

ME:
LOL.. yes bukas Saturday, Remember to ask me about what happened to paeng ha

KAPS:
What happened to paeng?

ME:
Nothing serious.. he was planning to go to buendia this am. Kala daw niya mamaya na ang alis so he was prepared to be absent from work.

KAPS:
Errr. Ako rin E…

How I wish I also thought wrong.. Then all of us would have been on our way to galera this morning. We could have all mistakenly absented from work oblivious to the fact that our office tasks await us that day. But we wouldn’t care! Because for us, it was already Saturday. Fuck work, we’re in vacation.. We would have been on our way, we would have been eating chips in the bus or sipping coffee. We would have been dozing off hoping we can get re-energized after working the entire night before we hit the beach..

They say the world will continue turning even if everyone disappears. It will, but how come we cant take a break whenever we want to? Why do we have to move the same pace as the earth? Why are we so afraid to go out of balance? Why are we so afraid of losing a few hundred bucks in exchange of a day that ought to last in our memories as long as we’re all sane enough to remember it?

Well at least even for just roughly 48 hours, we don’t have to care about anything. The BF is not coming with us as planned and I’m kinda depressed over it, but let him do all the worrying the entire weekend. Call me mean but I think its fair enough. I deserve a real break and for me, a real break consists of curling up next to the ocean. It’s my therapy and I’m not depriving myself of it… Yes I will miss him, but I have faith that I’m not the only one who will be feeling that.

so what does it make you? Magnetic! ayuff!!!

My work requires me to log in every single activity I do for the duration of my 8-hour shift. Hmmm.. I don’t want any time wasted so I contrived a plan to ensure that no time is wasted AT ALL..

So, I may not have an office cubicle but check out my kick ass home based cubicle..

I’m totally selling my idea to all the slave driving companies out there.  Say… call centers? Who needs bathroom breaks, right? Oh that brown mug, right there, that’s the ashtray so it ought to save time as well for cigarette breaks. As for the tabo, my cubicle is equipped with hi-tech bidet system that will also save you time cause you won’t need to wash your hands. Google or call centers may be smart enough to figure out a way to synthesize a way to keep the “cubicles” clean at all time. That way, you can bring your packed food and eat there as well. Gross? Let’s hear you say that ones you get unemployed.